Chapter 1
SO YOU THINK YOU WANT A DOG
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1. I’M CONTEMPLATING GETTING A DOG, BUT NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE. HOW DO I KNOW IF I’LL BE GOOD AT DOG CARE?
Concern and doubt are the hallmarks of today’s dog owner, so you’re not alone in wondering about your qualifications for the job. In the past few decades, dogs have joined babies as the objects of our obsessive attention—of intensive, often expensive, analysis. Whereas we once expected our furry friends to fend for themselves, psychologically speaking, we now fret over the angle and intensity of every tail wag and the volume and timbre of every bark.
Given all that pressure, the fact that you haven’t mentioned renting a dog3 is a good sign.
Relax. If you’re responsible, ethical, reasonably solvent, and reasonably flexible, you can’t fail to be a good dog guardian. You can and will make mistakes. But you will read, observe, seek advice, and learn. And you will never be mocked by your charge when you do something stupid.
In the end, you take a leap of faith. Dog is love.
2. WILL GETTING A DOG CHANGE MY LIFE DRAMATICALLY?
Yes, and irrevocably—but in a good way. Unless you have a tiny, flinty heart, in which case you shouldn’t inflict your mean self on a dog or any other living creature.
3. I READ THAT AMERICANS SPENT MORE THAN $20 BILLION ON DOGS LAST YEAR. WHAT MAKES US SO GAGA ABOUT THEM?
Puppy love is no accident, nor does it stem from the efforts of a powerful dog lobby. Canine-human codependency has deep and ancient roots. Scientists haven’t resolved precisely when and how dogs parted ways from wolves; most estimate that the process began more than 15,000 years ago. There’s no question, however, that some canids discovered it was in their best interest to endear themselves to homo sapiens to get access to food and fires. Humans eventually became actively involved in the genetic selection process, breeding dogs to make them useful as well as appealing. Thus the bond between the two species developed and strengthened over time.
Interspecies communication is another matter, which I’ll get to in Chapter 6; suffice it to say, it’s nearly as complicated as intraspecies communication between the genders. One relevant example: dogs don’t need much from us beyond the basics of food, shelter, and kind attention, rewarding us with intangibles like loyalty and devotion. Humans, in contrast, tend to confer pricey, often frivolous gifts on the objects of their affection—a display of status that dogs neither recognize nor respect.
4. WHAT’S THE BEST AGE AT WHICH TO GET A DOG?
When you’re older than 45 and have given up on meaningful relationships with other humans.
Oh, you mean the dog.
It depends on your circumstances and temperament. Not everyone wants the hassle of housebreaking a puppy, or dealing with her irrational exuberance. Rescuing an older, mellower dog has its rewards, not the least of them knowing that you’ve saved an innocent from spending her golden years in the hound hoosegaw, perhaps on death row. Contrary to the tired maxim, you can teach old dogs new tricks. And there are no size surprises with a grownup.
In theory, raising a puppy will allow you to control the circumstances of his upbringing. But that’s only true if you go to a reputable breeder who hasn’t separated mother from offspring and sibling from sibling too early—just one of the innumerable bad practices of the mass breeding operations known as puppy mills that can lead to behavior problems later on. (See question 10 for more details.) And even the best attempts at socialization at the correct age and the most assiduous training can’t guarantee you haven’t brought home a bad seed (perhaps an overly inbred one) who will eventually manifest Cujo tendencies. Nor can you watch your pup 24/7. Control, as any shrink or Zen master will tell you, is impossible to achieve or merely an illusion.
So if I had to choose an ideal age at which to get a dog—who, in my ideal universe, would be housebroken and have no history of being mistreated—it would be about a year and a half for a small dog, two to two-and-a-half years for a larger one.4 The pup has calmed down a bit but still has plenty of pizzazz—and, in most cases, plenty of years ahead to spend with you.
5. HOW DO I KNOW IF MY CHILD IS READY FOR A DOG?
If he or she is old enough to ask, that’s a start—“ask” being the operative word. Never get a dog for a child who hasn’t requested one just because you think he is lonely or needs to learn responsibility. That would be the equivalent of using real babies rather than dolls or eggs in one of those teen anti-pregnancy programs that involves taking care of an infant for a week. Robotic dogs are now widely available, should such a lesson be your goal.
Then, take into account the circumstances that sparked the request. Wait at least three months after your child viewed the last dog movie, including animated ones (101 Dalmatians in any version is particularly dangerous). After that, you can consider it.
In the meantime, try not to be swayed by the intense desire to stop the cajoling and whining that tend to accompany all pet requests.5 Inform your offspring that dogs are very sensitive to high-pitched sounds like whining, and that you couldn’t possibly bring one into such an inhospitable environment.
Finally, ask yourself: Are you or anyone else in the family willing to take primary responsibility for the dog if your kid loses interest? If the answer is no, don’t get a dog. It would not only be horribly unfair to the neglected pup, but also to the child, who’ll come to associate dogs with nagging and yelling and, as a result, never want to have anything to do with the species later in life.
If you decide your household is truly dog-ready, involve your child in the adoption process, thereby ensuring a match of temperaments and creating an emotional bond. But avoid bringing a dog home during the holidays, a sure recipe for disaster. The excitement of the season leads to overstimulation and bad behavior. The dog often gets really wound up, too.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let your child associate getting a dog with the holidays, which is one way to ensure better memories of the season than most of us have. Either go together to get the dog in advance, stressing that this is a holiday gift, or give the child an IOU—perhaps tied to a stuffed animal—promising an excursion to get a pup in the new year. If your kid can’t deal with the concept of advance or deferred gratification—or does really creepy things to the stuffed animal—then she isn’t ready for a dog.
Whatever you do, avoid family trips to stores that sell puppies. 6 It’s tough enough for a grownup to remember the greater good of shutting down puppy mills (see question 10) when faced with the pathos of a small, squirmy cutie in a cage. Don’t expect your child to be able to grasp this difficult concept—or forgive you for dragging him away from that wagging tail.
6. SHOULD I GET A MIXED BREED OR A PUREBRED?
In the past, status in canine circles derived primarily from having a dog that conformed to the standards of a particular breed as defined by the American Kennel Club or United Kennel Club. Pejoratives like “mongrel” or “cur,” which suggest a link between character and blood purity, were applied to dogs of unknown or mixed origin.
These days, because mixed breeds tend to be rescues more often than not, owning a mutt—even the term has acquired shabby chic cachet—confers a different type of status, that of moral superiority. So if you’re disposed toward oneupmanship, you’re no longer restricted to the breed-related variety—which clears the slate for criteria other than snobbery to be factored into your decision.
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PUREBRED PROS
004Predictability. If you’re familiar with the dog’s lineage, you have a pretty good idea what to expect with regard to size, temperament, and so on.
005You can aspire to appear on national TV in the Westminster Dog Show.
006You have a ready answer to the oft-posed question, “What kind of dog is that?”
PUREBRED CONS
007There’s a reason that many states have laws against marriage between first cousins. Unfortunately, no similar statutes exist to muzzle doggie inbreeding. In particular, breeding for looks rather than temperament or athletic prowess has resulted in dogs that are predisposed to a variety of illnesses and afflictions, including, as a friend said about a breed that shall remain nameless, “heads so narrow that they have no room for brains.”
008You might be mocked in a film such as Best in Show.
MIXED-BREED PROS
009When people ask you what type of dog you have, you get to say stuff like “Heinz 57,” “Pure speculation,” or “Canardly.” This last one is particularly entertaining if the questioner nods sagely and claims to have heard of a canardly instead of looking puzzled and waiting for the punch line, “I can hardly tell.”
010Fewer breed-related health problems.
011The fun of blaming any undesirable traits on breeds you don’t like, and claiming a lineage from breeds that you do. Caveat: To avoid seeming arbitrary or vindictive, you have to be reasonable about said blame and claim, staying within the realm of possibility as regards to size, color, and other physical attributes.
MIXED-BREED CONS
012Unpredictable health problems.
013Unpredictable size if you get the dog as a puppy. That adorable little Yorkie mix might turn out to have some German Shepherd in him. (And no, it’s not impossible for two very divergent-size dogs to hook up. You’d be amazed what bitches in heat and the males who love them can do.)
7. GIVEN THE MORAL SUPERIORITY THAT RESCUING A DOG CONFERS, AM I A BAD PERSON FOR WANTING A PUREBRED?
No. Wanting a particular breed and wanting to rescue a dog are by no means mutually exclusive. According to the Humane Society of the United States, one of every four dogs in shelters is purebred. And the fact that they’ve been given up doesn’t mean these pups are losers. Most dogs end up homeless because of circumstances that have little to do with them—including the sudden homelessness of their owners.
The website of the American Kennel Club lists rescue organizations for more than 150 breeds, some that you might never have heard of, like the Spinone Italiano (perhaps a cousin of the Gelato Hound); see www.akc.org/breeds/rescue.cfm. There are even rescue groups devoted to designer hybrids such as Puggles and Labradoodles. Ask your local shelter if they know of rescuers in your area that specialize in the breed you’re seeking, and also check sites such as www.Pets911. com, www.Petfinder.org, 1-800-Save-A-Pet.com, and craigslist.com.
You’re not a bad person either if you get a purebred from a breeder, as long as the breeder is reputable (see question 10).
If, however, you want a breed that matches your sofa and are likely to give the dog away after you redecorate your living room, then you are a bad person.
8. HOW MUCH CAN I EXPECT A PUREBRED TO COST?
Whatever the market will bear. You’ll pay the most for dogs at the opposite ends of the popularity spectrum: the most sought-after and the rarest.
At a minimum, a “pet-quality” purebred—one that deviates from breed standards to the degree that it isn’t considered dog show material—will run you $800, while “show-quality” pups start at about $1,500.
But that’s the bottom line, and when dogs become trendy, expect to pay double the aforementioned prices—or more. Unscrupulous breeders bank on that, literally, rushing to supply dogs whenever the demand for them grows.
Of course, if you rescue a dog in the first place, you’ll never pay more than the spay/neuter and veterinarian fees (see question 13).
9. HOW DO I FIND THE RIGHT BREED FOR ME/MY FAMILY?
Even if you’re not the type to be swayed into getting a diminutive Mexican dog because you saw Beverly Hills Chihuahua, or a Bull Terrier because Budweiser’s Spuds Mackenzie reminds you of your favorite uncle, emotion is bound to play a role in your breed choice nevertheless.
So step away from the computer, stop ogling pictures on Petfinder.com, and quit reading surveys on the best dog to get to attract members of the opposite sex or to promote a desired self-image. Instead, do some research into what your day-to-day life with an actual dog is likely to involve. The American Kennel Club’s Complete Dog Book is a good place to start, but it doesn’t cover all the negatives of health and temperament. Other books, including The Perfect Match by Chris Walcowicz and Paws to Consider by Brian Kilcommons and Sarah Wilson, are more honest about the downsides of various breeds.
As soon as you come up with some possibilities, look into whether there’s a reputable breeder or breed rescue group near you. You might not get pedigreed puppies through a rescue group, but the advantage of going through one, even aside from the good karma, is that such groups are deeply invested in wanting to minimize returns and euthanizations. As a result, they’ll evaluate you and your family situation carefully to determine whether a particular dog would be a good fit.
And always remember: dogs within any breed are individuals, even if they have the same parents. Think about it; are you and your siblings precisely alike? Are your offspring—other than identical twins—clones of each other?
With that caveat, here’s a quick sketch of some breed groups you’re likely to encounter in your research. They’re based roughly on the categories established by the United Kennel Club (www.ukcdogs.com), which emphasize historic working roles more than the categories used by the American Kennel Club, which focus on appearance.
SPORTING DOGS: THE FIELD-AND-STREAM SET
Pointers, retrievers, setters, and spaniels—these are the sleek hunting dogs likely to turn up in an episode of Masterpiece Theatre. They generally require lots of exercise, and are especially fond of roaming off-leash, so if you want them to come back to you, you’ll need to train them well. The retrievers, in particular, like to swim, so don’t take them to the beach unless you’re sure they won’t keep going down the coast.
Note: The spaniels in this group are sometimes called Flushing Spaniels. This alludes to their ability to flush birds from their hiding places, not the ability to ensure themselves a fresh supply of water when they drink out of the toilet bowl.
HERDING DOGS: GET THEM DOGGIES ROLLIN’
We’re talking Collies, Cattle Dogs, Sheepdogs, German Shepherds … generally, anything with “sheep,” “shepherd,” or other types of livestock in their names (the Welsh Corgi is among the exceptions, both in its name and the length, or lack thereof, of its legs). No surprise: these pups like to round up and protect—and that means you, your kids, your other dogs, your cats … If they can’t get a herding gig, they’ll settle for retrieving, so be prepared to do a lot of Frisbee throwing.
GUARD/PROTECTION DOGS: DON’T MESS WITH ME
Every flock requires not only a herder but also a guard to ensure that there’ll be livestock to herd, thus the ascent of such large, tough breeds as the Rottweiler, Doberman Pinscher, Great Dane, Boxer, and Saint Bernard. The biggest of the big, used as personal muscle for ancient warlords, often have “mastiff” in their names. This group tends to be smart and devoted, and members can be major sweetie pies, but they need to be shown who’s paying their wages early on if you don’t want them to lean on you.
THE NORTHERNERS: HAIRY AND HELPFUL
These big furballs, which include Akitas, Chow Chows, Malamutes, Huskies, and anything with “spitz” in their name, were assigned the same herding, hunting, and guarding tasks as the breeds already mentioned, only they performed them in the cold. No surprise, then, that they don’t like vacationing in Florida or Arizona. They take their jobs seriously, and can be hard to handle without clear direction.
TERRIERS: NEVER SURRENDER
Airedale, Jack Russell, Scottish, Soft-Coated Wheaten … having a dog with “terrier” as a surname is a dead giveaway that you’re dealing with a feisty, high-energy pup. (Undercover terriers include the Miniature Schnauzer and German Pinscher.) The smaller terriers were bred to get rid of rodents and vermin, which means they love to tunnel and dig. Members of this group tend to be endlessly amusing but very strong-willed. If you don’t watch it, they’ll have you trained to do their bidding in no time.
SIGHT HOUNDS: THE ARISTO-DOGS
Thin, elegant, graceful, and fast, this group includes Afghans, Greyhounds, Borzois, and Whippets. Although they’re excellent hunters, they also tend to be gentle and sensitive; don’t insult them or they’ll take off in a flash. But these guys know how to relax when they’re not on the clock; around the house, they’re quintessential couch potatoes.
SCENT HOUNDS: AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A …
In contrast to the upscale sporting dogs, these hunters—they include the Bloodhound, Beagle, and Coonhound—often get roles in films like Deliverance. Because they keep their noses close to the ground to track their quarry, many of them have short legs (badgers were once the Dachshund’s specialty). They’re used to running in packs, and are happy to have your family serve that role, but have a tendency to bark and howl, the better to let you know they’ve treed some creature—or would like to. Initial training should take place inside the house; when outside, these dogs are easily distracted by all those exciting scents.
COMPANIONS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE DOG
Of course, it’s not only small pups that make good pals; indeed, most of the toys—among them the Chihuahua, Maltese, Pekingese, Papillon, Pug, Miniature Poodle, and Yorkshire Terrier—originated in one of the other breed groups. It’s just that these portable pets never really had another job description besides “go forth and be adorable,” so nap snuggling is a task at which they excel. Don’t let their cuteness deter you from serious training, however; small dogs that follow their own inclinations can be just as annoying as their larger counterparts, if somewhat less capable of doing major damage.
A few other variables that transcend breed include the following.
LONG-TERM COST
A large dog doesn’t necessarily have more energy or need more exercise than a small one. There’s no question, however, that the size of your grocery bill will be directly proportional to the size of your dog. In addition, some dogs are more likely than others to incur high vet costs. Boxers, for example, are prone to heart disease and gastrointestinal ailments, while German Shepherds are subject to hip dysplasia.
Sometimes these two cost categories overlap—many large dogs have a tendency to ingest undigestible items that require surgical removal. For example, Schatzi, a sweet Bernese Mountain dog I know, likes to eat tennis balls, pantyhose, and beach towels, among other items. These omnivore tendencies—which her owners have tried to anticipate and head off, to no avail (see “Intelligence,” in the later section)—have already landed Schatzi in the doggie ER twice.
COAT
There are two types of allergies to consider when it comes to a dog’s coat: an allergy to fur and an allergy to vacuuming. Double-coated dogs such as those in the Northern group sometimes shed the equivalent of another dog. In contrast, Poodles, Cairn Terriers, and the hairless Chinese Crested are among the dogs that are unlikely to make you sneeze—or clean.
INTELLIGENCE
Naturally, you want a really smart pup, right? Maybe—and maybe not. Intelligence is not necessarily the most desirable trait to seek in a dog. As with really smart people, high IQ pups can be high maintenance; not only will they figure out how to open your refrigerator and eat last night’s pot roast, but after they do so they’ll want to know what’s next on the agenda. They often get bored easily. In contrast, some canines that never make the dean’s list may be appealingly mellow. And after you get them to catch on to the connection between the peculiar vocalizations you’re making and the behavior you expect from them, they’re happy to go along with your program. According to Stanley Coren in the Intelligence of Dogs, out of 79 evaluated, the breeds that rank highest in the “working intelligence” category are the Border Collie, Poodle, German Shepherd, Golden Retriever, and Doberman Pinscher. The Borzoi, Chow Chow, Bulldog, Basenji, and Afghan have been relegated to the brains basement.
10. YOU’VE MENTIONED PUPPY MILLS SEVERAL TIMES. HOW DO I AVOID THEM AND FIND A RESPONSIBLE BREEDER?
As defined by the ASPCA, a puppy mill is any large-scale commercial breeding operation where profits are given a higher priority than the dogs’ well-being. Although they’ve only recently begun to get widespread and well-deserved censure, these mass puppy producers have been around since the 1960s, when the demand—fed by franchises that realized putting adorable doggies in the window was the best way to draw people in to buy pet supplies—began outstripping the supply. Today, about 5,000 such operations, many on farms in the Midwest and Pennsylvania formerly devoted to raising pigs and chickens supply many of America’s pet stores.7
These stores and boutiques, which tend to be in upscale malls or posh neighborhoods, hide the (often literally) dirty secret of the origins of their cute customer magnets. Puppy mills or factories have been found crowding some 1,000 dogs into facilities that are at best sterile and devoid of opportunities for social contact but far more frequently unsanitary and cruel.
But the puppies at least have to look healthy to be salable, although many have genetic defects based on bad breeding practices, not to mention diseases spread by overcrowding. The conditions under which the breeding mothers literally labor are far worse. Many of these dams, whom the public never sees, spend their entire lives in wire cages stacked one on top of the other, and left in cold, dark sheds. Because it costs more to secure the services of a vet than to get a new dog to push out puppies, sick mothers are often left to starve to death when they outlive their usefulness. Sometimes this occurs even when the dogs aren’t sick but when a particular breed goes out of fashion.
Feeling upset enough yet? Here’s more: Most of these doggie gulags are completely legal. They operate under the same USDA regulations applied to farm animals slated to be killed and consumed—except that, when the livestock consists of puppies, even fewer inspectors are assigned to ensure that conditions are even minimally humane.
Pet stores aren’t the only places that purvey canine unfortunates. 8 Beware of ads in local giveaway papers and vendors hawking “purebred” puppies on street corners. True, the Penny Saver advertisers and sidewalk hawkers may only be backyard breeders—as amateurs looking to make a buck off their best friends are known—as opposed to puppy mill operators trying to get around the bad press and lemon laws associated with selling their wares through pet stores. But in neither case do you get a guarantee of the health or temperament of the dogs being sold, nor verifiable information on the conditions under which they’ve been raised.
These days, the Internet is a major source of mass-produced puppies. Shady dog vendors keep few records, but it’s a good bet that virtual sales are catching up with, if not outpacing, brick-and-mortar transactions. You’d be surprised how many people are taken in by slick-looking websites, sending money for long-distance pets without even requesting references. I’m not sure which is worse—actually receiving a puppy mill graduate who might be seriously ill and break your heart as well as your bank account, or wiring money to Nigeria and getting no dog at all.
Which brings me to the question of how to find a reputable breeder. Because one of the things that makes breeders reputable is their focus on one or, at the most, two breeds—thus allowing them to acquire in-depth knowledge of everything from standard appearance and temperament to health problems—you first need to decide on the breed you’re interested in. In addition, attending local dog shows and agility trials sanctioned by the American Kennel Club or the United Kennel Club is a good way to check out different types of dogs in action and to meet breeders. However, these shows—which are not held in every town—don’t give you the chance to make the acquaintance of less peppy and performance-oriented pups.
After you decide on a breed, seek referrals through friends, veterinarians, groomers, and through the AKC or UKC; these last two groups offer comprehensive lists of good breeders throughout the United States. Make sure to look for someone within easy visiting distance, because no matter how much you trust a referral, you’ll want to check out a breeder’s premises personally.9
When you’ve found some promising possibilities, let the scrutiny begin.
PHASE 1: WEEDING OUT THE SEEDY BREEDERS
Before making a trip to visit the premises, ask the following questions.
Do you always have puppies available?
This is a trick question. An affirmative answer suggests that mama dog is kept bare-pawed and pregnant more frequently than is good for her health. Once-a-year breeding is ideal; more than twice borders on abuse. Good breeders keep a list of interested buyers to contact when the next litter is available.
A corollary of this question is “How soon after he’s born can I get the puppy?” Be suspicious of any breeder willing to separate a puppy from dam and siblings before eight weeks at a minimum.
Will I be able to meet the parents of my puppy so I can get a sense of the offspring’s appearance and temperament?
There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to make the mother’s acquaintance. If the father can’t be present—and you’re within your rights to ask why not—request to see documents proving that poppa has been registered with the AKC or UKC. (Beware of someone who says that they’ve got documentation from, say, the Siberian Kennel Club—even if you’re looking at Siberian Huskies.)
Can you provide references from a local vet and from families who have purchased puppies from you?
Be sure to follow up with them all if for no other reason than that it’s fun to chat with fellow admirers of the breed to hear about the joys—and travails—of bringing up the pups.
What potential health problems is the breed subject to?
This is another trick question. If the breeder answers “none,” that’s a sign of either ignorance or dishonesty. All breeds are predisposed toward certain health problems; good breeders work diligently to avoid them. You need to know how severe any inherited condition might be and—more important—whether a puppy from a litter you’re contemplating has in fact inherited it.
If you decide to get a puppy from a breeder, it’s completely kosher to request documentation from the Orthopedic Foundation for Animals (www.offa.org)—an organization devoted to reducing the incidence of a wide range of genetic diseases—that the parents and grandparents have been tested and shown to be defect free.
PHASE 2: PEERING AROUND THE PREMISES
Assuming a breeder has passed these preliminary pup quizzes, it’s time to head out to see how the dogs are kept. If a breeder has a problem with your visiting when no puppies are available, then you have a problem with the breeder.
Look for the following.
Do the dogs you encounter seem healthy, upbeat, and friendly toward strangers?
If they slink off or bark frantically, you might consider slinking off, too.
Where do the dogs stay? Are they allowed indoors and kept in clean, well-maintained areas, or are they confined in smelly outdoor pens? Do they have sufficient room for exercise?
Or, in short, is this a place you wouldn’t wish on a dog.
Does the breeder use harsh methods to make the dogs behave?
A well-behaved dog doesn’t necessarily mean a happy dog, just one that’s toed the line. I have no idea if stress hormones have an impact on the development of puppies (though why wouldn’t they?); I just wouldn’t want to buy a dog from a mean breeder.
PHASE 3: GETTING TO KNOW ME
A breeder should be interested in you, too, not just in your money.
Some signs that the well-being of the dog is foremost to the breeder:
014Multiple, relaxed visits are encouraged with your entire family.
015You’re asked why you want a dog and who in the family will be responsible for her daily care.
016You’re required to provide proof from your landlord or co-op board that you’re allowed to have a dog (if you live in a building like the one where I used to live in Manhattan, you should be asked for verification that the puppy has personally passed muster with the co-op board).
017If you already have another dog, you’re asked for references from a vet.
PHASE 4: ASSESSING THE LITTER
This is perhaps the toughest phase because actually viewing puppies is bound to cloud your ability to think clearly. Nevertheless, try not to be swayed by their overwhelming cuteness and consider the following.
Are the puppies kept with their mothers and siblings—and encouraged to interact with humans, too?
Duking it out for position with other dogs, being handled by humans, and being introduced to a variety of stimuli—all part of the process known as socialization—are essential to a well-balanced dog.
PHASE 5: BRINGING HOME BABY
When you’re ready to take your new puppy home you should expect …
018A written contract that you will return the dog if you can’t keep her (see question 14). Unless you get a show-quality dog, the contract is likely to include an agreement that you will spay or neuter him.
019Records of veterinary visits for the puppy, a detailed explanation of her medical history, and a clear list of what vaccinations she will need and when.
020Assurances that advice on the care and feeding of your new friend will be available when you need it.
No, a breeder isn’t required to be on call at all hours like a pediatrician, but one who cares about dogs will want to help you succeed in your new responsibilities, which can be overwhelming initially.
11. WHAT ABOUT MIXED BREEDS—AREN’T THE PROBLEMS OF FINDING THE RIGHT DOG COMPOUNDED WHEN YOU RESCUE A MUTT?
Quite the opposite. All but the most reputable breeders are solely in the dog business for the money, whereas shelters and rescue organizations (see the following question) are in it for the love—which means that their only motive is to ensure that their charges find good homes. As a result, most do their best to assess each animal’s temperament before sending them off to be adopted; many offer adoption counseling. And with mixed breeds, you have the added advantage of being free from preconceptions, so the pup’s actual personality isn’t obscured by breed stereotypes.
Evaluating dogs and their potential guardians—on an individual basis—is the premise of the excellent Meet Your Match (MYM) program being introduced into more and more shelters, with the goal of determining whether you and a particular dog are suited for one another. A kind of interspecies Match.com, MYM evaluates the dogs’ behavior, then categorizes them by character traits like “wallflower,” “free spirit,” or “teacher’s pet.” A potential adopter fills out a short form that serves as a canine personality wish list—and voilà, a love connection that’s based on more than just looks. Developed by Emily Weiss, DVM, and sanctioned by the ASPCA, this program has greatly increased adoptions in the shelters that have used it—and cut back on returns.
Sadly, not all shelters have the funding and the staff to institute these types of programs or even to do detailed evaluations. In these cases, an excellent alternative is to hire your own matchmaker: a trainer. Good trainers (see Chapter 6 for advice on finding them) are especially well equipped for the task because they work with difficult-to-handle humans on a regular basis. Thus they are capable of not only assessing the temperament of dogs at the pound but also of talking potential adopters down from emotional reactions such as “he’s so sweet” or “she’d make such a good hiking companion” if the dog that elicits it doesn’t fit their lifestyle (or apartment).
Then there’s the dumb luck factor. Full disclosure: Faced with appealing photographs and persuasive dog rescuers, my best (human) friend Clare and I eschewed the painstaking research I’m advocating here and took the blind emotional route. And we couldn’t be crazier about our furry gentlemen friends, Archie and Frankie.
12. ARE THERE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SHELTERS—AND DOES IT MATTER WHICH ONE I VISIT TO FIND A DOG?
Sometimes called “pounds” because they once housed only impounded animals, shelters vary in everything from their admission and euthanization policies,10 medical services, and outreach programs to the size and cleanliness of their facilities. No centralized agency exists to set guidelines or even to collect data about them. Strange but true: shelters with names that include “SPCA” or “Humane Society” have no affiliation with the Humane Society of the United States or with the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The ASPCA does operate one shelter, in Manhattan, but it and the HSUS are primarily educational organizations, not governing or funding bodies.
The care of homeless or displaced dogs falls to three basic types of organizations.
MUNICIPAL SHELTERS
These are government-owned and -operated and thus funded by state, county, city, or township tax dollars. They typically come under the aegis of health care or law enforcement departments. Historically created to protect people from animals, they often do the opposite these days. If, for example, they’re supervised by law enforcement, police officers may bring in dogs that have been abused—as well as those who’ve bitten neighborhood children (often one and the same pup). You can generally recognize municipal shelters by such utilitarian phrases in their names as “Animal Control” or “Animal Service.”
PRIVATE NONPROFIT SHELTERS
The only thing that these shelters have in common is that they’re designed to protect animals from people—or from the elements—and that they don’t make money by doing so. They may get some funding from municipal contracts or may operate solely on the basis of private donations, large and small.
RESCUE GROUPS
These informal, privately funded organizations work with both municipal and private shelters, as well as with individuals who surrender their dogs. They may have a physical facility but more typically they keep the dogs they save from euthanization in foster homes or kennels.11 Many focus on a single breed and may therefore operate under the auspices of a breed club. However, because the goal of most rescue groups is to find good homes for as many dogs as possible, they aren’t always terribly strict about their categorizations.
For example, Frankie’s rescuer, Rebecca, was affiliated with Arizona Mini-Schnauzer Rescue. Although Frankie shows no signs of Schnauzer—mini or maxi—parentage, Rebecca fostered him anyway because she’s kind-hearted and Arizona Cute Fuzzy Dogs of Indeterminate Origin Rescue doesn’t exist. I shudder to think that Frankie might have been executed because of breed profiling—or lack thereof.
All this may matter little to you as a potential adopter, especially if you find your dog through the Internet—where shelters and rescue groups post their resident pups on sites such as Petfinder.com—and you only go to the shelter to retrieve her. But if you’re doing a search in person, it’s useful to know a shelter’s euthanization policy. You may not be comfortable going to a place where you’ll need to make a quick adoption decision—or, on the other hand, you may want to have urgency imposed because you’re a ditherer. And if you discover that your local shelter doesn’t have the resources to do temperament evaluations, you’ll know that you need to bring an expert along.
But the dogs are equally worthy at every facility. And after you’ve settled in with your pound pup, you can decide at leisure which shelter or rescue group deserves your donations and/or can best benefit from your volunteer efforts.
13. IF RESCUING A DOG IS A GOOD DEED, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY A FEE AND HAVE SOMEONE INSPECT MY PLACE?
To prove that you’re not going to use your new pal as bait in a dog-fighting ring. Many people give away dogs with the best of intentions—and the best of results. But pups offered gratis to complete strangers too often end up in bad situations.
And if you can’t find the money to make the (generally) required contribution to a shelter, then you probably can’t afford to feed and care for a dog, either. Fees are usually considerably less than they would be for the same exam and neutering/spaying procedure done privately because many vets volunteer their services at local shelters. You’re unlikely to have to come up with more than $200 initially.
Not all rescue groups have time to do home inspections, but many require them, so don’t get insulted if someone wants to come check out your house. And don’t worry. The nice folks at the shelter want to make sure that your adoptee is not going to escape through that big hole in your fence and find himself homeless again. They are not, as I had assumed, judging your décor, your cleaning skills, or your domestic arrangements (unless these include living with two dozen cats—or children—and/or with a burly rifle-wielding person). While I waited for my dog’s rescuer to come over to evaluate the suitability of my house, I fretted that she would think it wasn’t tidy enough. If you want proof that I knew next to nothing about dog rescue before I got Frankie, there you have it in a nutshell.
That said, rescuers and fosterers have been known to make unreasonable demands on potential pet owners for a variety of reasons that all boil down to “bad human, bad human!” If you like a dog and are uncertain of the appropriateness of an inspector’s requirements, call the organization you’re working with and ask for clarification.
14. WHAT IF I GET A DOG WHO DOESN’T LIKE ME?
This question will only seem odd to people who have had a chance to get acquainted with their new pals before bringing them home. If, as I did, you fall for a picture that a dog rescuer e-mails you, it’s not an altogether irrational concern.
Rebecca, the aforementioned dog rescuer and fosterer, had told me that Frankie was sweet natured, which was true. Not having had the opportunity to observe his behavior long-term, however, she couldn’t know that he was a one-person pup, a canine serial monogamist. During the tour of my house, Frankie shadowed Saint Rebecca, avoiding me like
I was a large, unpredictable predator. When it became clear that she was about to take off without him, he looked at her piteously, silently imploring, “Don’t leave me here. She’s clueless.”
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Nor did things improve soon. For the first few days, Frankie lay on the couch, languishing, a tiny furry Camille. I became convinced that he hated me, that, as I’d feared, I was an abject failure at dog ownership.
This story has a happy ending, if you consider having an 11-pound alien take over your life a happy ending. Frankie now adores me (and only me). As a result, I am entirely at his disposal.
But I only gave the little guy a chance because I knew that I could—indeed, was required to—give him back if things didn’t work out. My adoption contract, typical of most, reads: “I agree that if at any point I cannot keep the animal, I will return him/her to the original rescue without requesting a fee.” This stipulates no time limit and provides no definition of “cannot keep the animal,” which can thus be construed to mean “because he hates me and refuses to get off the couch.”
The bottom line: Don’t get a dog from a rescue group or breeder who says you can’t return him, unconditionally (although not uncommunicatively; you do need to explain what went wrong so that a shy couch-hugger isn’t mistaken for an aggressive teeth-sinker). But that doesn’t mean you should regard the adoption process as akin to shopping at Nordstrom. People who are serial and frivolous returners—most puppies will chew on shoes; you can’t keep trying to find one who’s allergic to leather—you’ll quickly become known on the shelter gossip circuit as someone who should be refused a dog.
15. WHY SHOULD I GET A DOG RATHER THAN A CAT?
022A dog won’t make you feel like a slob. A cat’s hyper-fastidiousness serves as a constant rebuke to those of us with messy tendencies. In contrast, you’re bound to feel neat in comparison with a pet that likes to roll around on dead pigeons.
023A dog won’t ignore you. He may irritate you with demands for attention or with his attentions to you, but you’ll never feel as though you’re on the needy end of a romantic relationship.
024If you’re female and single and have a cat—especially more than one—you run the risk of being regarded as a cliché when you pass the age of 30.12
025If you’re male and single and straight, sharing your home with a cat may lead others to question your masculinity. Multiply that doubt by the number of cats you have.12
026A cat won’t allow you to dress him or to pose him in front of a bowling alley or a drum set.
027Being accompanied by a dog will allow you to talk aloud to yourself in public without appearing crazy (or obnoxious, as would be the case if you were attached to a cell phone). Caveat: If you act as though your dog is answering you, then you will seem crazy anyway.
028By obeying selected commands, dogs let you maintain the illusion that you have power over them. Cats don’t bother to pretend that they don’t rule your life.
029If you die on his watch, a dog will remain by your side, waiting for you to wake up and feed him. A cat will just feed on you.13